How is it that you can go from the top of the mountain to the ground floor of the valley in such a short period of time?
Such is the case in my motherhood experience.
One day I'm surprising my daughter with a getaway to a theme park – just us girls.
The next day (literally) report cards come home and my daughter has a terrible grade in science, and it was somewhat of a blindsided surprise.
And I feel like I've failed her.
One day I'm really making connections with her.
The next we don't even want to be in the same room.
And I feel like a failure.
Not every day is roses and rainbows.
But there's never been a day when I wished she wasn't mine.
Many, many days are tough on the psyche, ego, stamina, and heart.
But I've never regretted our decision to adopt.
Some days I just need affirmation that my daughter will look back on her life and know she was supported and loved.
I need to know she is maturing into a confident young lady who respects herself, respects her parents, and honors the Lord.
And, most days, I just need a hug and a little more sleep.
Tomorrow, I'll get up and do it all again with a little less attitude, a lot more hope — a little less undereye puffiness, a lot more determination — a little less failure, and a lot more reasons not to fail her.
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2 comments:
Sounds like you had a rough day. Here's a hug from NYC. Now remember this because it is the most important thing I will ever say to you in our friendship. Ready? SHE KNOWS. She knows you love her. She knows that DH loves her. No matter what happens - SHE KNOWS. Come on how many times did we get upset with our parents? Sometimes the trick of parenthood is providing a future while healing the past. Forgive them, her, and yourself because she KNOWS. You can do it!If He didn't think so it wouldn't have happened.
You are not a failure...you're human and so is your daughter.
Don't worry about the bad grade. The life lessons you are teaching her about love, patience, family and grace will stay with her longer than the science lessons will. Trust me, I know!
Hugs from a former Chemistry major!
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